What comes to your mine when I say “he’s gay”? And what about when I say “she’s lesbian”?
I was having conversation with my fellow student assistants during lunch the other day about sth else and somehow we ended talking about gay and lesbian. Apparently, I’ve been using the terms Gay too casually and Lesbian too strictly. According to online dictionary, gay mean homosexual (well beside, the its other normal meaning) and lesbian means female homosexual. Quite straight forward. But for me, the impression of both terms is deviated from their formal definition. My impression of gay is more toward guys behaving like a girl than homosexual. And often use the word “gay” to refer to guy behaving like a girl or more casually referring to a 2 guys doing things together. Hence, I usually don’t mean it when I say gay. It’s like a figure of speech or cliche that I use among my peers. But apparently, I’ve been using it so lightly that I tend to forget there are people take the word for what it’s defined and get offended by it. Any opinion on that?
On the other hand, I totally mean it when I say lesbian. I won’t use lesbian unless I really know that they’re lesbian which either mean they declare it or I witness them showing sexual intimacy towards one another. I won’t even use lesbian when 2 girls always do things together or go shopping hand in hand. That’s why when people tell me “they’re lesbian.” I will go “really!? how you know?”. But when they say “they’re gay” I was like “ok. I see.” What about you?
Lastly, from where I come from, gay normally refers a guy behaving like girl or surrounded by girls all the time and lesbian is unheard of. When I came overseas, it’s quite the opposite. Over here, if you’re surrounded by girls all the time, they’d more or less think that you’re a player which mean u’re a damn straight guy. And if you behave like a girl also doesn’t mean you’re gay because some gays here behave even more manly than a straight guy.
Morale of the story, I think I should be careful not to throw the term around casually when I’m socializing outside my circle of friends.