The Voice Inside my head

Which do you hear louder? the your own voice or others’?

For me most of the time it’s others’. I don’t like it but somehow I have a very tendency to think about what would people think of me and the things I do. Will they like it? will they hate it? will they find it annoying? And that consideration influence my action and behavior tremendously.Why does that matter to me all of a sudden? First of all, it’s not all of a sudden, but it’s just that lately I came to realize that the influence is stronger than I thought.

I’ve always thought that I’m the type of person who always know what I want in life but I come to doubt that recently. After some sharing with some peers at work, I became quite puzzled. Some people tell  me good income is the key to being happy. Some people say career satisfaction is the key not pay. Some people it’s neither, it’s whether the job can benefit and value-add to your career goal, which in turn, it’ll result in the achievement of both job satisfaction and monetary desire. The third also implies that you’ll achieve neither if you approaches things wrongly. However, what bugs me is not these difference in opinions it’s how they constantly judging people who’re doing thing differently. For instance, for those , who didn’t do that well in academic and end up with a good start-off job, would look to their highly-academically qualified friends with a very egoistic sense of victory. On the other hand, they also being judged as materialistic and myopic. Either way, neither of the side know what each other is really thinking. All they are doing is making assumption about each other to make them feel better about themselves.

They say human nature is selfish. This truly reflects very clearly through our opinions. If you observe carefully, you would be able to see the fact that people always tend to think that other people is in a way similar to themselves if not the same. When we’re smart, we automatically treat people around us as if nobody is really that stupid. When you live in an environment where everyone is well-off, the next person you know, you would assume that they at least well off as well. When you spend a lot, people think you’re rich. When you save a lot, people think you’re stingy. When you plan, people say you think too much. When you don’t plan, people say you live on impulse. We are basically stereotyping everything about each other. Why? Because it’s a very quick and convenient way to form an image of a person in our head. The problem with that is that image is very influential towards our behavior toward that person. The best part is we know this is happening and why. The real mystery is the fact that we still succumb to it.

The fact really sadden me. It’s a big reminder to why we have lesser and lesser friends as we grow older. When older, we’re are less susceptible to influence and change. And we know that about each other, so we choose stay away from people with conflicting interest/opinion/goal/etc…. This is probably one of the damn wonderful things about childhood, we just don’t care and don’t give a damn about all these and laugh everything off.

The Voice Inside my head


Seeing Me & Orson Welles makes me feel that opinions can be really objective. And that is scary. Can you imagine person is giving you his opinion which is not really his opinion? Precisely, it’s like lying to you. But the only difference is that it’s the truth. His opinion towards you changes depending on how much you benefit/profit him. Again that can be your very powerful weapon if you can master it. You’re no longer prejudice towards people since your opinions no longer matter to you. The only thing that matters is what can you make out it.

But seriously, I really don’t see the point in becoming like that. Can’t imagine having to constantly looking at things from a third-person point of view.


Me & Orson Welles (2008)

Me & Orson Welles is definitely Zack Efron’s best. I don’t really like him as an actor but after seeing this movie, I kind of do now. One of the reason that I find this movie so good is probably because I was watching at the right moment. It has what I wanted to see at that moment. Love, Life, Luck. It’s realistic. It’s artistic. And definitely classic.

Me & Orson Welles perfectly exemplifies a situation a young man would face at one point of his life.  A situation in life where we are young and ambitious, and we feel that everything is going for us. So we try to grab everything we can. We grab so much until more than we can hold. And *snap* just like that everything falls apart. Fame, glory, money, romance. All gone right before our very greedy eyes. And the worse part is you feel like you lose everything when nothing was really yours in the first place. You just go back to where you started. Nothing. And that’s beauty of life. It doesn’t end just there. You start all over again. This time with the knowledge and experience of what had happened.

Lastly, after seeing the movie, it really makes me come to appreciate the title a lot. It says Me & Orson Welles and not Me & Him or Richard & Orson Welles. Me would be Richard and he would be Orson Welles but Orson Welles is not necessarily has to be him. It’s a just a brand the man wear and project. If anything we can learn from this, it would be the good old cliche “It’s nothing personal my friend, it’s just business.” Don’t get personal and emotional… unless it gives you profit.

Me & Orson Welles (2008)

Building my 1st Customized PC

After like 4 years or so, I’m finally going to get to use a desktop again. I’m planning to build my own customize ddesktop when next academic semester begins. Now I’m in the period of studying the best rigs for my budget. It’ll tough trying to squeeze my demand for performance into a 1K budget.

Let’s see my current choice of components are:

Choice 1: Phenom IIX4 955

Choice 1: Asus 4A785D-M-PRO
Price: S$ 396 (Combo price with CPU)

Choice 2: Asus 4A78L-M
Price: S$ 372 (Combo price with CPU)

Choice 1: CORSAIR TW3X4G-1600C9D Dominator (4GB=2x2GB)
Price: $S 219

Choice 2: CORSAIR CMX4GX3M2A-1600C9 (4GB=2x2GB)
Price: $S 199

Choice 1: ASUS ATI EAH5770 CuCore 1GB (GDDR5)
Price: S$ 279

Choice 2: MSI ATI HD 5770 1GB Hawk Twin FrozerII (GDDR5)
Price: S$ 269

Choice 1: Seagate 1TB 7200.12/2-platter/low power/Faster
Price: S$ 119

Choice 2: Seagate 500GB 7200.12 / 16MB
Price: S$ 74

DVD Drive
Choice 1: HP 24X LightScribe SATA SuperMulti
Price: S$ 43

Choice 1: CORSAIR HX750 (750W) / 7yrs
Price: S$ 249

Choice 2: OCZ ModXStream-Pro (Modular) 700W
Price: S$ 185

Choice 3: PCPower & Cooling 750W : $188 / 750W
Price: S$ 188

Choice 4: CrossfireOCZ ModXStream-Pro (Modular) 600W
Price: S$ 139

Choice 1: CoolerMaster Elite nVidia 334
Price:  S$ 89


Let’s see, if I go for all my first choice components it would cost me S$ 1394. Crazy! Over budget by 400. What if all my last choice. S$ 1185… still over budget by almost 200.  I think I seriously need to reconsider my budget.. or my components of choice. But I’ve been using PC for so long and I haven’t for once tasted a very powerful PC to suit my usage. For the first time, I really want to have that since I’m planning to have this for a long time. If you have cash, can go for this rigs, guarantee extreme performance.

Building my 1st Customized PC

Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

I’ve tried to experience and understand many things in life. People doing weird and stupid things I can still understand why. But people who like Twilight New Moon, that is definitely one of things I don’t understand. How can any body like this movie? Sorry but I have to admit that I’m one of the haters. If the books are as nice as it’s rumored, the movies really mess it up for the books big time.

I don’t get the whole thing from beginning to the end. The awkward romance, the incredibly thick makeup, the weird birthday tragedy, the unconvincing break-up, and the bunch of buff guys in Bermudas and running shoes walking around looking like idiots. None of these makes any sense.

But again, if you haven’t watched don’t be discourage by my comments because I have friends who really love this movie. So you can still check it out, maybe you have the same taste as my friends, which I don’t know what kind of taste is that.

Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)